KJ and I

Every week or three I get a call from my buddy KJ. KJ has kind of a one-track mind. He always has the same question: “I just need to check, what the serial number on your printer is?” Now at first I used to ask him why he wanted to know, and why, but his answers always seemed a bit vague, so I eventually decided that a more nuanced interrogatory might be needed. From our last conversation:

KJ: Hey, I just need to check, what’s the serial number on your printer?

CIP: Who is calling please?

KJ: This is KJ, my boss just wanted me to check what the serial number on your printer is.

CIP: Hey K! It’s been a while. I hope you haven’t forgotten about that beer you owe me.

KJ: What?

CIP: You know. From the kids soccer game against the Outlaws. Last Fall.

KJ: Huh?

CIP: So is Jamie going to stick with the Flame next year? The transition to under twelve is a biggie.

KJ: I’m from Dataline. I just wanted to check the serial number on your printer.

CIP: You aren’t the KJ whose son plays on the soccer team with my daughter?

KJ: Uh, no. (sounding a bit relieved).

CIP: Oh dear! This is embarrassing. I thought your voice sounded funny. My bad! What did you call for again?

KJ: I wanted the serial and model number of your printer.

CIP: Just a minute. Sorry!

(two minutes later, after reading my email)

CIP: Which one was that?

KJ: The one right there, close to you.

CIP: The one on the right?

KJ: Uhh… yeah.

(Pick up juggling clubs. Keep dropping. I really need to practice more if I ever hope to do torches! Finally one lands next to phone, knocking over two empty Coke cans.)

CIP: Uh K? I can’t find one on the right. Are you sure you didn’t mean the one on the left?

KJ: Oh… yeah, sure, I forgot. The one you usually print on. How many printers do you have there, anyway?

CIP: Let me check!

(Lunch time! Unfortunately, by the time I got back KJ seems to have lost the connection. Or at least I hope he didn’t have to listen to that beeping for very long, because the guy in the next office was pretty annoyed – and there is a wall between us.

I hope KJ calls back soon.

I forgot to tell him that I don’t have a printer.)

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