KJ and I

Every week or three I get a call from my buddy KJ. KJ has kind of a one-track mind. He always has the same question: “I just need to check, what the serial number on your printer is?” Now at first I used to ask him why he wanted to know, and why, but his answers always seemed a bit vague, so I eventually decided that a more nuanced interrogatory might be needed. From our last conversation:

KJ: Hey, I just need to check, what’s the serial number on your printer?

CIP: Who is calling please?

KJ: This is KJ, my boss just wanted me to check what the serial number on your printer is.

CIP: Hey K! It’s been a while. I hope you haven’t forgotten about that beer you owe me.

KJ: What?

CIP: You know. From the kids soccer game against the Outlaws. Last Fall.

KJ: Huh?

CIP: So is Jamie going to stick with the Flame next year? The transition to under twelve is a biggie.

KJ: I’m from Dataline. I just wanted to check the serial number on your printer.

CIP: You aren’t the KJ whose son plays on the soccer team with my daughter?

KJ: Uh, no. (sounding a bit relieved).

CIP: Oh dear! This is embarrassing. I thought your voice sounded funny. My bad! What did you call for again?

KJ: I wanted the serial and model number of your printer.

CIP: Just a minute. Sorry!

(two minutes later, after reading my email)

CIP: Which one was that?

KJ: The one right there, close to you.

CIP: The one on the right?

KJ: Uhh… yeah.

(Pick up juggling clubs. Keep dropping. I really need to practice more if I ever hope to do torches! Finally one lands next to phone, knocking over two empty Coke cans.)

CIP: Uh K? I can’t find one on the right. Are you sure you didn’t mean the one on the left?

KJ: Oh… yeah, sure, I forgot. The one you usually print on. How many printers do you have there, anyway?

CIP: Let me check!

(Lunch time! Unfortunately, by the time I got back KJ seems to have lost the connection. Or at least I hope he didn’t have to listen to that beeping for very long, because the guy in the next office was pretty annoyed – and there is a wall between us.

I hope KJ calls back soon.

I forgot to tell him that I don’t have a printer.)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Anti-Libertarian: re-post

The most pointed critique of social security and liberalism in general is the libertarian critique. The problem with libertarians, for a liberal, is that we have too much in common. We both believe in individual rights, tolerance of individual differences, and dislike government prescription of religion. The basic difference, it seems to me, is the different answers we give to Cain's (with thanks to the Captain - my original version had the corpse asking the question!) famous question: "Am I my brother's keeper?" That's not really my basic bitch against the libertarians though. My real complaint is the same as my complaint against most religion - its premise is a fraud. For those who can't stand to wait for the punchline, I believe that trying to implement libertarian principles leads to tyranny or social disintegration. Demonstrating that takes some historical (and pre-historical) context. For all but the last 15,000 or so of the 100,000 years the human spec...
Read more

Uneasy Lies The Head

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown ........... Shakespeare Henry IV, Part II. So it is with us and our slightly distant primate cousins , so it seems. A 9-year study of wild baboons in Kenya by Princeton University and the Institute of Primate Research may turn conventional assumptions of alphas males upside down. The study found that alpha males have high testosterone levels, which allows them to dominate other baboons, get access to more food, and attract better mates. This is expected. Surprisingly, though, the alpha males also have high levels of stress hormone glucocorticoid, which scientists measured from their feces samples. In fact, the stress of alpha baboons was on par with low-ranking baboons. The convention wisdom is that access to food and females provides life security and thus less stress for dominant males. Conversely, weak males who are constantly threatened by starvation and physical violence from stronger males are thought to be more stressed. The st...
Read more

We Call it Soccer

The US played its best, and maybe only good game of World Cup, but lost thanks to brilliant goalkeeping by the Swedish keeper and the bizarre method soccer uses to settle ties when three US stars could not put the ball on frame from the 12 yard spot.  At the end it came down to a blocked shot that spun in by maybe a couple of centimeters. Well, that's football - too much like life.   Which brings me to a modest proposal.  Replace the thirty minute overtimes with as many 7-player 15 minute periods as needed to settle it.  Scoring should be much easier with fewer players.
Read more