Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Twelve Steps

Wolfgang has once again taken the pledge to disconnect from the intertubes, and as much as we will miss him, it would be unkind not to provide a bit of moral support. As it happens, I have been reading a great deal about detox and rehab programs (Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace), so I thought I would supply him with a suitably adapted twelve steps program:

(1)We admitted we were powerless over the intertubes - that our lives had become unmanageable.

(2)Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

(3)Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Krugman as we understood Him.

(4)Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

(5)Admitted to Krugman, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

(6)Were entirely ready to have Krugman remove all these defects of character.

(7)Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

(8)Made a list of all blogs we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

(9)Made direct amends to such blogs wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

(10)Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

(11)Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Krugman as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

(12)Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to blogaholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Cheers!