In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. At that point, leaving some details to his apprentices, he set about the really serious task of designing bacteria. That was an incredible feat, and left him exhausted, so he took the rest of eternity off and left his ugly stepson, Chance, to do the rest of the work by evolution.
The feat of design that produced bacteria, whomever gets the credit, is mind boggling. By comparison, the rest of creation really seems like amateur hour. Not to knock my fellow Eukaryotes, but nearly all the really cool stuff was already done before we got to the party.