Greek Capitulation

After months of futile struggle Greece has agreed to surrender and forfeit its sovereignty to Germany. It will officially be a colony of Germany, giving that country its long desired Mediterranean seaport. Greece will be eligible to officially become a state of the Federal Republic in 2057 or whenever every Greek has learned German, whichever comes later.

Meanwhile, in other news, Chancellor Merkel has demanded that England return the Elgin Marbles.

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