Saturday, September 12, 2015

New Year's Resolutions

I know it's early, but I'm an old guy and you never know what the future will bring. For the same reason, I don't think there is much point in making resolutions for 2016, so I'll make some for a year that could make a difference in my life: 1959, my junior year of high school.

(a)Leisure activities: stop reading all those crappy science fiction novels and concentrate on something important: chasing girls.

(b)Sports: Don't play football again this year unless they let me have a glamour position like quarterback. Defensive lineman doesn't cut it. Basketball - continue basketball but shoot more and pass less. Work on my mid range jumper. Track - Do you know what girls are doing in the Spring? It's not watching track, especially field events like shotput, javelin, and discus. Lifeguard training might be good.

(c)School activities: Science club - no, they can find a new VP; Chess club - puulleeeze!; Drama might be a good choice, lots of girls there. Speech and Debate: continue, but please ask out that cute sophomore who laughs at your jokes.

(d)Academics: OK, further de-emphasis of this would be a challenge, but use a little more imagination in choice of classes. What do girls like?

(e)Work: Get job at burger bar where girls wear skates to deliver food.

(f)Car: I can dream, can't I?