NYT, Reaching for Greatness

Newspapers have pages to fill up, even when the real news is either too inconsequential or depressing to print, so a lot of really stupid stuff gets printed.  My nominee for today comes from the New York Times: 60 times Madonna Changed Our Culture.  I guess the former pop star just turned sixty.  I would be more sympathetic if I wasn't so much older.

I was never much of a fan, though I did appreciate some of her music once it made it into its Weird Al version.  Anyway, it seems that every reporter, copy boy and kiosk tender in the NYT stable got to submit some way in which Madonna "changed the culture."  Some of them might even be real, but the top few give a hint of the intellectual gravity of the enterprise:

1.SHE IS FIGHTING THE PERNICIOUS IDEA THAT OLDER WOMEN DON’T MATTER.  - yeah, we all fight that notion that old people don't matter, but we always lose.

2.  SHE TURNED HER CONFIDENCE AND STYLE INTO MOVIE STARDOM. - omg, that's got to be the first time anybody in human history managed that!

3. SHE TURNED WEDDING DRESSES INTO BOLD STATEMENTS OF FEMALE SEXUALITY.  - Great moments in slutiness.  

4. SHE ANNOUNCED HER PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION ON NATIONAL TV.  OK, I know that Alexander neglected to do that, but what about Napoleon and Hitler?

And from further down the list:

9. SHE BROUGHT YOGA TO THE MASSES. I always wondered who invented that stuff.

And for the truly civilization defining moments:

12. SHE RECLAIMED CROTCH-GRABBING FOR WOMEN. - Now that's one for your resume, all right.  And I just thought she had a yeast infection!

And my personal favorite

44. SHE SULLIED THE REPUTATION OF ENTIRE SPECIES OF FLOWER WITH A SINGLE OFF-HANDED COMMENT.  -  (Hydrangea) It just goes to show that you can't make a real revolution without without breaking a few H. macrophyllae 



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