Buck Sawbuck for President
The Campaign Video
(Buck, standing in a field of short grass. He is wearing a black Stetson, alligator cowboy boots, faded blue jeans, and the kind of shirt real cowboys might wear to a dance. He is carrying a Remington Versa Max semi-automatic shotgun. The background is a hilly pasture with real longhorn cattle in the distance.)
BUCK: In these threatening times a man isn't judged by what he's for so much as what he is against.
(Camera moves right until Buck is seen in front of small billboard proclaiming: GUN CONTROL NOW!)
BUCK: I'm against gun control.
(Raises gun and fires twice. Billboard shatters. When debris clears, two partially clad and slightly bloody young people stumble out, pieces of billboard stuck in strategic places.)
BUCK: Get a damn motel! I'm against the Democrat Party, RINOs and WINOs - that's women in name only for the unwoke.
(Fires into the sky. Large bird plummets to ground.)
BUCK: I don't care much for Dinos either. I'm also against homosexual marriage, and I'm not that big a fan of heterosexual marriage either, as each of my five ex-wives can tell you. And don't get me started on immigrants.
(Fade to an image of a mountainous section of the Great Wall of China.)
BUCK: With this wall we can keep all those immigrants out! It's solid, it's classy, and best of all, the Chinese are going to pay for it!
Paid for by the Committee to Elect Buckwitt P. Sawbuck President