Multiple Choice Presidential Debate Quiz

1)If elected, my first act will be to:

  • a) Convene leaders of both political parties to set a tone of cooperation.
  • b) Invite the leaders of Israel and Palestine for a peace conference/celebrity death match.
  • c) Convene a meeting of my committee to re-elect.
  • d) Get roaring drunk.
  • e) Start advertising for hot interns.
  • f) Bomb Iran

2. What would you do to decrease polarization in the Capital and the country.

  • a) Convene a meeting of the political parties, serve spiked champagne.
  • b) Punish my enemies
  • c) Flood the country with mobile ions.

3. What litmus test would you impose on Supreme Court nominees?

  • a) Have to be pro-life
  • b) Have to be pro-choice
  • c) Have to have a pH between 6 and 8.
  • d) Have to be able to solve the calculus problem in the Mean Girls math contest.
  • e) Have to be able to safely use a shotgun in close quarters.

4. What would you do about global warming.

  • a) Impose a cap and trade system on carbon emissions
  • b) Impose a big carbon tax, partially rebated to low and middle income families
  • c) Have the White House swimming pool rebuilt
  • d) Extract large campaign contributions from oil companies.
  • e) Move the White House to Alaska.

5. How would you avoid the sex scandals that plagued some previous administrations.

  • a) Have libido supressors sprinkled in the WH food.
  • b) Install my mistress/boyfriend in the Lincoln bedroom.
  • c) Have nightly prayer vigils
  • d) Have all intern's uniforms washed by WH laundry.

6. What would you do about nuclear proliferation.

  • a) Bomb the hell out of the bastards
  • b) Seek a world-wide anti-nuclear treaty.
  • c) Have Sonny Perdue pray on it.
  • d) Convene a meeting of all nuclear club members and agree to bomb the hell out of any prospective new members.
  • f) Negotiate. Make them an offer they can't refuse.

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