Adventures in Pushy Parenting

If you are the sort of parent who interviews your children's potential teachers and studies their records like a horse player studies a racing form, you might be a pushy parent. Teachers like parents who are engaged, but dread and despise the Pushy Parent, so it's important for the pushy parent to try to operate in disguise, pretending to be just an engaged and helpful parent.

I recall one day observing my son's kindergarden class playing Red Rover - you, remember, that game where you line up on two sides and call over a member of the other side, while holding hands tightly clasped each to each. If the rover can't break your line, he or she becomes a new member of your team, but if the line breaks you lose a member to the other team.

After a while I noticed that although many children got called, my son was not among them. Gradually a bit of indignation built up in the pushy parent, but he managed to stay under cover. Finally, with the other team having gained almost every other player, his name was called. It was only then that I recalled that not only was he the kindergarden sprint champ, but also notably larger and stronger than the rest of the class. The collision occurred, and tiny bodies hurtled every which way, like tenpins after a strike.

Sometimes, usually, it's better to understand first, before you get indignant.

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