Don't Know Much About...

It's commonly noted that watching television makes you stupid. It can also remind one how dumb some other people are.

I happened to be watching an episode of Jeff Foxworthy's "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader." If you haven't had the experience, it is a $1,000,000 prize quiz show where the contestants are stumped by elementary school quiz questions.

I used to suspect that contestants were either pre-selected for low IQ or perhaps given a dumb pill before the show, but it must be the latter since apparently George Smoot, the Nobel Physics laureate (and Big Bang Theory cameo actor) is going to be on. I was watching with my son, who is also trained in physics, and we had the same reaction - uh oh, is he going to embarrass the whole profession?

The questions range from really, really easy ("How many days are there in two weeks"), to really easy ("How many dimensions does a rectangle have?" - the contestant missed that one) to slightly hard ("which State's motto is "Live Free or Die"). Questions aren't guaranteed to be sensibly framed. (After being expelled from Massachusetts in 1630, Roger Williams went on to found what State?) I don't think we really had States in 1630, but many people might not have recognized the foundation of Rhode Island. Our dauntless contestant guessed Missouri. Sixteen ****ing thirty???? Oh Well.

I can't say that I was too impressed with the weight loss consultant who thought bile was manufactured in the stomach, either. I would expect my weight loss consultants to have at least a clue as to the general plumbing of the digestive system.

So anyway George, you shameless publicity hound, if you embarrass us on a second grade math or science question you are dead to the physics profession. Not even a Nobel can cover that.

[George also contributed a joke, told on the show by Penny, to TBBT.

A physicist goes into a bar, sits down and orders two beers. The bartender asks him: "why two?"

Physicist replies: "quantum mechanically, there is a small chance that a beautiful woman will materialize on the stool next to me and have a drink with me."

Bartender: "Why there are beautiful women in here every day! Why don't you just ask one and see if she will have a drink with you?

Physicist: "What are the chances of that?"]

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