The Bissinger Buzz

Well known tough guy sportswriter Buss Bissinger, recently confesses to a $600,000 Gucci habit and reportedly checked into rehab. Now I don't know Mr. Bissinger, having read just enough of his work to be unimpressed, but his tale of Italian excess is ... uh ... peculiar.

It started three years ago. I have never fully revealed it, and am only revealing it now in the hopes that my confession will incite a remission and perhaps help others of similar compulsion. If all I buy is Gucci, I will be fine. It has taken a while to figure out what works and what doesn't work, but Gucci men's clothing best represents who I want to be and have become—rocker, edgy, tight, bad boy, hip, stylish, flamboyant, unafraid, raging against the conformity that submerges us into boredom and blandness and the sexless saggy sackcloths that most men walk around in like zombies without the cinematic excitement of engorging flesh.

I own eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves. Those who conclude from this that I have a leather fetish, an extreme leather fetish, get a grand prize of zero. And those who are familiar with my choices will sign affidavits attesting to the fact that I wear leather every day. The self-expression feels glorious, an indispensable part of me. As a stranger said after admiring my look in a Gucci burgundy jacquard velvet jacket and a Burberry black patent leather trench,

"You don't give a fuck."

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Not sure exactly why a sportswriter spending some peoples lifetime earnings on funky Italian style strikes me as odder than Larry Ellison's spending several thousand times as much on a bunch of big boats, but it does. Maybe because I'd actually kind of like to have one of the boats.

Whatever, but I doubt that it is just coincidence that this 6000 word story came out in the April issue of GQ.


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