Blame Canada: Quasi-Annual Crapjet Tirade.

Every year or so I travel to Montana, a journey that requires me to travel on several of the hated Canadian Regional Aeiro Planoes, or CRAP jets. These only slightly expanded cigar tubes with wings help put the travail back in travel, at least for non midgets. Frequently the stewardess greets me as I enter the door, invariably causing me to look up and hit my head on the sill. Hunching down, I crawl/stumble to my seat and, after managing to cram my minature (I seem to recall that it holds my toothbrush and a spare pair of socks) carry-on into the hobbit scale overhead bin, attempt to cram my troll-sized body into one of those seats originally designed for kindergarten use.

The US/Canada border is often called the World's longest undefended border. Clearly this presents a nearly ideal situation for invasion and colonization.

We could seize their assets (comedians, the health care system, the Perimeter Institute and all the provinces except Quebec) and probably make a profit on the deal. Even after razing whatever infernal manufactuary the despicably tiny cigar tubes are assembled at.


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