An acquaintance shared this story, which I will put in quotes, though it's surely not a precise reconstruction.
I had a small check to deposit, so I went to the drive through - I know that you can make a deposit at the ATM, but I'm old, and I didn't want to try to figure it out. I was in a hurry, so I was wolfing down my sausage McMuffin in the car. I sent over the check with my card, and in a bit the girl came back sounding real friendly like. I was, she said, and old and valued customer - a high value customer, whatever the hell that is, and entitled to a private banker.
OK, my social security gets deposited automatically, ditto my pension, and every two or three weeks I go to the ATM to take out some cash for this and that. I'm probably not getting the private bit, but I'm damn sure nobody's going to make a living handling my banking needs. So what the hell is a private banker, anyway?
I was curious, so I looked it up. It seems that banks are willing to assign special banker to those considered high net worth individuals (HNWI). Their duties, so I imagine, are to try to hustle some of that money, perhaps stroking them a bit to keep them invested. Anyway, I'm not sure I can still socialize with somebody in that class - or at least he can pick up the next check.