CapitalistImperialistPig

Croatia was just a it too good for England.  England could neither defend its early lead or capitalize on several good chances.  Croatia consistently played with more energy and was much better at holding the ball.  Way too many bad giveaways for England. France looks better, but who knows now?

France has got to be the world cup favorite now, but it certainly did not look overpowering against Belgium.  In fact, if the ref hadn't missed two obvious fouls just outside the penalty box, the result might have been rather different.  Belgium's stars missed some clear chances too.

A classic error of the beginning actor is "overselling the event."  The World pretty much agrees that Neymar is a superb soccer player, but a bunch of acting coaches say that he's a pretty bad actor.   His antics after getting stepped on didn't just offend football fans.  I personally hoped that the referee would take out a gun and shoot him, just to put the poor lad out of his misery.  No staged death scene in my memory has been so pathetic or ridiculous. After a hard tackle, he rolled over so many times that I thought that he might be auditioning for a role as hedgehog croquet ball in Alice in Wonderland.

It would be hard to argue that the best team won, but by the end, Russia felt like the most deserving team. (1-1 game, 4-3 Russia on tiebreak penalties). I found it weirdly gratifying that Spain's strategy of boring Russia and us to death failed. I imagine that the results would have been rather different if my formula for resolving ties with 7 v. 7 play had been followed. The last save was amazing.

The long periods between anything happening in a typical soccer game have given me a lot of time to reformulate my new rules for football.  There are a lot of fouls where the penalties are either too light or two severe.  Pulling down or deliberately tripping a player on an open run at the goal is one that earns a yellow card.  Not really enough, and for players already on a yellow, the red card is so severe that it's rarely enforced.  The referees in this World Cup have been instructed to be very sparing with red cards because FIFA doesn't like 10 on 11 (or 9 on 11) games - and neither does anyone else. There are far too many fouls that go uncalled in the penalty box (take downs, jersey pulls, wrestling holds).  These too usually go uncalled. My  new suggested revisions: 1) Replace throw in with free kick in. (This one is actually due to Pele) 2) Allow 5, 7 or perhaps more substitutions in a game. 3) In the event of a red card, the offender is se...

One amusing feature of the World Cup for the occasional soccer watcher is the prevalence of spectacular falls by players who happen to get a foot stepped on or ankle clipped.  I awarded 4.5 points for degree of difficulty to one player who cartwheeled a few times yesterday, and added another 2.5 for artistic expression for his realistic impression of someone rolling about in agony.  Of course he was up and playing again in a few seconds. Oddly enough, nothing like that happens when players in football or basketball get hurt, though usually they cannot return to the game. To digress, I thought England looked impressively efficient in its demolition of Panama.  Of course the defense was not the best.  Harry Kane got a somewhat freakish hat trick on the basis of two penalty kicks and a (probably accidental) heel clip on a ball that likely would have gone in regardless.  Have to see how England's sometimes shaky defense will hold up against tougher competition.

Wouldn't it have been simpler to skip all the running around and just go directly to penalty kicks?

Luis Suárez, Uruguay's star forward, got in a perhaps decisive bite against Italy.  Remarkably, he had two previous punishments for the same offense.  Uruguay scored quickly after the bite, which the ref seems to have missed.  His previous offenses drew seven and ten game suspensions.  It would be absurd if the latest offense draws a similar wrist slap.  Two years ought to be the minimum considered by FIFA, and a lifetime ban would hardly be excessive. He also ought to be jailed for assault.

A spunky, gritty Iran gave Argentina a much tougher time than almost anyone could have expected. Not until the 92nd minute (in stoppage time) was Messi able to conjure up enough magic for the win (1-0). Iran had its own chances to score, especially on a probable penalty that the ref didn't manage to see. Pretty clearly, Iran needs to be taken very seriously. Argentina, on the other hand, may have shown some weaknesses.

Hurrah! The US squeezes out an improbable 2-1 victory against Ghana, despite losing our best striker early and our seemingly congenital national inability to dribble, put 3 consecutive touches together, or otherwise possess the ball. A satisfying victory after a couple of drubbings by Ghana in previous World Cups. Of course Germany and Portugal await.

So far this year's World Cup has been relatively exciting - at least compared to the previous iteration, which was roughly as exciting as watching grass grow. Which is what one is reduced to when teams play to a 120 minute scoreless tie. The exciting moments in soccer are exactly those in which the ball and offensive players enter the penalty box. The really boring moments are those in which a team kicks the ball around in its own end. So here are a few suggestions to breathe some life into the world's favorite boring sport. The pitch is currently divided into two halves. The offside rule only applies in the offensive half. Suggestion: (1) divide the field into thirds, with the offside rule only applying in the offensive third. In basketball, teams have limited time to bring the ball beyond the half line and lose the ball if they subsequently reverse that. Sugg (2)Limit the time in which a team can hold the ball in the defensive third and forbid returning it. Violatio...

The US side outplayed Japan for nearly the whole game, but squandered chance after chance in front of the Japanese goal.  The derided Japanese keeper came up with the crucial saves when needed, especially in the penalty shootout.   Japan scrapped and scrapped and took advantage of a crucial US failure. Congratulations to Japan.

France dominated the World Cup Soccer semi-final for approximately 65 minutes, but it wasn't enough.  France's possession game had the US on the brink of disaster for much of the game, but after Megan Rapinoe and Alex Morgan came in the tide turned and two quick goals finished off the blues. Good to great defense beat great mid-field play - with a little help from some killer instinct goals.

From Slate . Probably not for the squeamish cat lover: What if I told you that last week I predicted all eight winners of a round of the World Cup? And that instead of rankings or divination all I did was look up how many people in each team's home country had a tiny parasite lurking in their amygdalas? Would you believe me? A decade ago, Discover Magazine concluded that parasites ruled the world, and now I'm going to try to tell you that, at the very least, parasites rule the World Cup. Follow the link for an improbable but tantalyzingly suggestive story.

The German blitzkreig (if I may call it that) annihilated what had previously looked like a very impressive Agentine team. Great speed, energy, and precision. Spain was a bit lucky to eke out a win against Paraguay. A Paraguay goal was called off on a perhaps dubious offside call. Spain - Germany should be a good game, but is hard to pick against the Germans at this point. That Brazil-Argentina final we all liked two days ago? Might be Dutch v. Deutsch today.

Another last minute miracle was needed to save the day, but the US side managed. England gets Germany in the next round, we get Ghana. The ancient Meso-Americans built some immense stadia for their soccer like ball game. At the conclusion of a match, according to various traditions and analyses, the losing team, the winning team, or maybe just the MVP were ritually sacrificed. My nominee would be the ref.

FIFA sucks. The US and other countries swindled by the archaic and incompetent refereeing of FIFA should secede and promote an improved soccer game. More refs, electronic scoring and review of goals, electronic determination of offsides, replacement of throwins with kick ins and a few other modifications would make for a much better game.