Punchline

This paper (gr-qc/0512018) up on the ArXiv today has an abstract with a great punchline:
Starting from a perfect cosmolgical fluid, one class of frequency metrics that satisfies both Einstein's General Relativitic equation and the perfect fluid condition is: g_uv = e^iwt N_uv. Such a metric indicates spacetime behaves locally like a simple harmonic oscillator. During spacetime compressions and rarefactions particles are exuded with a mass equal to the compressive work that produced them. They comprise the cosmic dark matter that makes up this perfect fluid. By treating spacetime as a classical thermodynamic problem, the mass of these particles is determined to be in the range of an axion particle sought by the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory. When axion particles collide they give off a photon having a microwave frequency inversely equal to that of the frequency of the spacetime compression that produced them. These microwave photons make up the 2.7K cosmic background radiation.


Unfortunately, the rest of the paper seems less amusing to me. Maybe Lubos would like it.

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