Religious Threats

Many think that the threat of having Sharia imposed upon us by Muslims is serious enough that we must deal with it by expelling them, but let's remember that's not the only religious threat we face.

If the Episcopelians manage to get control of the country, we will all be forced to worship the Queen of England, or, if prediction may be ventured, even Prince Chuck.

Catholics are far worse. They worship a former Nazi who made his bones running the Inquisition - yes that Inquisition - and covering up clerical child abuse. On the positive side, if we ran them out of the country, we would lose some real loser Supreme Court Justices - not you Sylvia. On the negative, depending on how strictly affiliation was judged, my family and I might have to go back to Ireland, or somewhere.

How about Mormons? They are a native religion of America, to be sure. A few words on that subject: Glen Beck, Orin Hatch, and the White Horse prophecy.

If we let the Jews take over - the stuff they haven't already, I mean - and impose their religious laws, say goodby to cheese burgers and Rubens. Ditto the Hindus.

Of course if they throw the Jews out, there goes the rest of my family.

And let's not even mention Baptists and Evangelicals.

So what religions can America safely tolerate? Unitarians, I think, and maybe Buddhists.

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