Friday, September 21, 2007

Area 51

Some of our neo-con friends and now Rudy Giuliani endorse the idea of inducting Israel into NATO. Of course many NATO countries like this like they like a poke in the eye, but it would have the following putative advantages:

1)It would demo our committment to fight all of Israel's wars no matter what.

2)It would scare the bejeesus out of Iran and Syria.

3)It would piss off Muslims everywhere.

I fear this represents a failure of imagination on the neo-cons' part. Why not just go directly to proto-con William Safire's idea of annexing Israel as the fifty-first State? It would have all the above advantages plus:

4)We could save the three billion plus we send to Israel every year and tax them instead.

5)The Palestinians could be classed as Native Americans and receive all the privileges and perks consequent thereon - cushy reservations, trading post booze, the BIA to guard their money, tourist traps, National months, weeks or days, etc., etc.

6)Americans could go the the Holy Land without getting passports.

7)We could abandon that mess in Iraq and retreat to bases in our own Middle Eastern State.

8)We wouldn't need to worry about Israeli spies anymore - the Cossacks would work for the Czar.

9)There would be more jobs for bilingual teachers.

10)That way Israel would have only two Senators, like the rest of us, instead of fifty.