My Acceptance Speech

I would like to congratulate and thank the editors of Time for naming me as their Man of the Year. Flattered as I am, I'm still a bit startled that the editors were daring enough to make a choice that so exceeded even the banality, irrelevance, and lamentable lameness of their stupidest previous choice. This pick, I predict, will set a standard that even the redoubtable editors will have trouble matching in the future - if there is a future for Time magazine.

Check that. Maybe they could just save a lot of inane meeting time by making me the choice for every year: past, present, and future.

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